National Corruption Institute Of India ( N C I I )

Admissions are open now. Preference to those with criminal background. Politician's relatives get scholarship !!!    .. National Corruption Institute Of India ( N C I I ) Affiliated To Both Houses Of Indian Parliament Listed on the World Corruption Index as the World's Best C-School Invites Applications for 3 Years Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in Corruption. (BDC) Earn your BDC from the World's Most Reputed Institute for Corruption Studies OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES: Financial Theory and Practice  Transfer of funds through HAWAALA for creation of MASS GHOTALA  FINANCIAL NETWORKING -Movement of money through well engineered networks between State Party Units and Central Party Unit.  Solicitation methods to increase donations towards Party Fund.  Theory and application of Popular BRIBE concepts and ­methods like Chai Pani, Parcel, Change, Gift Box , Color TV, Foreign Trip and the ever popular Children's School Fees  Real estate Business  Learn how to multiply money with no capital  fast track buying and selling of Govt/ pvt properties (il) legally.  # Lessons are taken by Prof Robert Vadra. Public Relations (PR) and Media Management  Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA.  # Lessons by Salman Khurshid  Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.  Excellent training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY. Learn how to argue on TV with other Party people on TV like Professor Manish Tewari and Professor Ravi Shankar Prasad.  Develop public gestures like NAMASTE and HAND WAVING.  # By Rahul Gandhi  Learn the art of proving all allegations as €œBASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED€ù  Effectively refute STING OPERATIONS. Advanced course in proving that VIDEO FOOTAGE IS FALSE AND MANIPULATED. Law and Order Module: In this module you will learn how to:  Commit MURDER and RAPE  Bring LOCAL POLICE under your control  Get BAIL super fast if you are ever arrested.  Apply and get speedy ANTICIPATORY BAIL so you don't get arrested in the first place!  FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special lectures in this chapter by visiting Professors Shahbuddin and Pappu Yadav! Advanced Riotology  Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY STICKS AND WEAPONS to engineer riots.  Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy and widespread dispersal of RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS.  Form effective partnerships with local liquor stores for easy procurement of DESI DARU to get rioters high and ensure awesome rioting!  Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age exciting methods for INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION.  Introductory Kashmir method of inciting riots through STONE THROWING.  Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert tutelage of Professor Pravin Togadia. Gain Extensive Knowledge From Our Faculty Of World class Professors. Special Courses In:  "2G SPECTRUM  A Telecommunications Perspective" By Professor Andimuthu Raja  ''Flat Taking From Army Jawan'' ByProfessor Ashok Chavan  ''The Correct Standard of Clean'' By Professor Lalit Bhanot  ''Sports Medal or No Medal, In Corruption Always Get Gold Medal''By Professor Suresh Kalmadi  "Application of Corruption on Non Human Species €“ Stealing Money for Cattle Fodder" By Professor Laloo Prasad Yadav  "Building A Corridor For The Taj Mahal Can Cost More Money That Building The Taj Mahal Itself" By Professor Mayawati Kumari.  How to attract vote bank from neighboring countries and provide immediate citizenship and voter ids and still remain "secular". # by professors Digvijay Singh, Kapil Sibal, Shinde, Dr Manmohan Singhunder able guidance of Smt Sonia Gandhi.   Systematic destruction of a country by extensive loot and investing in Swiss banks by Professor from Cambridge A Maino Sonia.  How to change your name to deceive people and keep hidden nationality. by professor A Maino Sonia. ...And Many Many More..!! SO FORGET ALL B-SCHOOLS, BE COOL JOIN THE C-SCHOOL... and - and - and   PG. Diploma in Game - Fixing , Spot - Fixing , Faculty Members : Prof. emeritus Azaruddin, Srisanth under the most  able d  guidance of Prof. Kalmadi as HoD    NCII IS THE BEST __